The NEET in Shining Armour
by GodAmongGods
Summary: Satou Kazuma, a NEET and fantasy fanatic, dies in a 'tragic' accident. After being given the opportunity to live the life he's always wanted, he's sure to get into all sorts of trouble. Kind of a Game of Thrones crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**The NEET in Shining Armour - A Konosuba Fanfiction**

Kazuma opened his eyes with a start. He looked around, seeing nothing but a black and white checkered floor that spanned out for miles, covered in a low mist. He had very little memory of how he found himself here; in fact, the only thing he remembered was leaving the safety of his home to buy more manga. Now, here he is. In a large and empty room, sitting on a white ornate chair, full of mist and not a clue as to why he's here.

"Ah, Satou Kazuma-san. Welcome." A soft, feminine voice called to him. He spun his head around and was greeted by a red-haired beauty of a woman. Her hair, deep red and flowing down to her waist. Upon her neck was a ruby-embroidered necklace. She wore a red cloak that went down from her shoulders and down to the floor, covering up most of her body except for the front, which revealed the deep crimson corset and short skirt underneath.

"Wh-Who are you, beautiful onee-san?" Kazuma spluttered without thinking. Life as a NEET has rendered Kazuma unable to hold a conversation with people very well, and less so with a beautiful woman like this.

"I am the Goddess of Fire, the Lady of Light and the Crimson Deity. I am R'hllor. I have one of the biggest religious followings in the known world due to me giving the mortals the light from the sun and the warmth in their hearths. After all, the night is dark and full of terrors..." The goddess, R'hllor, said. "Ah, but enough about me. Satou Kazuma-san, you must be wondering why you're here."

"Uh, th-that's right, R-R'hllor-sama.."

"Well, I'm afraid to inform you that you have died."

"Ah yes, I see- Wait what?!"

This came to Kazuma as quite the shock. When did he die? How did he die? It would make some sense, due to the fact that he can't remember what had happened 10 minutes ago. It would also explain why he's in the audience of someone who calls herself a goddess, and has the looks to match. ' _No human can look that good..'_ Kazuma thought.

"Yes, young one. It's quite the.. err... embarrassing tale. Would you like to hear?" R'hllor asked, a tinge of pity evident in her tone of voice.

"Well, of course I'd like to hear! Who wouldn't wanna know how they died after just finding out that it happened?!" Kazuma shouted. His emotions got the better of him, which makes sense due to the fact that he just died.

"Alright, alright… here it goes. So, you were walking down the street to buy some manga to add to your ever-growing collection." R'hllor began. "The sun was out, it was bright, and you were having trouble seeing due to the intense light. You saw what thought was a truck moving at a fast speed, right into the path of a girl who was walking nearby. In an act of 'courage,' you dived in front of the 'truck' and pushed the girl out of the way."

"Wow… so I was a hero in my final moments, huh? Just like some kind of knight…" Kazuma muttered. "I-Is the girl okay?"

"Yes, she is." R'hllor said in a comforting tone. "In fact, she would have been fine either way. The truck was actually a slow-moving tractor. Even if you didn't push the girl out of the way, she would have been perfectly fine."

"W-what?! If it was just a tractor, then how did I die?!"

"Oh, that is very simple, young one. You died of shock. Your heart gave out during your final moments, before anything was able to collide with you." R'hllor nervously said.

"What?! WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS FIRST?!" Kazuma shouted. He rose from his chair and pointed at R'hllor as if she was guilty of something.

"B-because I didn't want to worry you! Hehe…" The Lady of Light laughed sheepishly to try ease the mood. ' _Be lucky I didn't mention how you peed your pants…'_ She thought.

"Argh, fine. So now what? I'm dead, aren't I? Why am I still here?" Kazuma asked, throwing himself back into his seat begrudgingly.

"Ah, that's where I come in. We gods and goddesses have devised a brilliant plan to stop the heavens from becoming too crowded. That's quite the serious problem, by the way. Almost every person from your world, from the young and bright to the old and brittle, choose to go to the heavens. It's not even a good place to be anyway. You don't have a physical form, you barely get to talk to anyone. All you do is lay in the sun, a dormant soul with no purpose." R'hllor explained. "So, we're allowing those whose lives were cut off abruptly to be reincarnated in a new, wonderful world!"

"Hmm, is there a catch?" Kazuma asked. "This reincarnation thing sounds too good to be true, there has to be some kind of catch, right?"

"Well, those who are reincarnated are tasked with defeating a Demon King, an enemy that threatens all the citizens of the new world. However, we're allowing those who choose to reincarnate to bring a single item of their choosing with them. The item could be literally anything. From something small and useless to weapons that grant the user immeasurable power."

"I accept."

"No? That's a sh- wait what?" R'hllor was shocked. "Usually people decline after they hear about the whole Demon King stuff."

"That's the best part! I could live out my fantasies as a real-life MMORPG character! I'll be the hero with a cool power, destined to defeat a great evil! That's all I've ever wanted!" Kazuma was excited. Ever since he was young, he was enamoured with the prospect of knights, kings and lordship. This love grew even larger when he found out there were games where you could play as a knight or a king. That, along with his experiences with school, were what drove poor Kazuma to becoming a NEET.

"Ah yes, I remember reading about this part of you… though, I'm still surprised as to how quickly you accepted." R'hllor mused. "It cannot be helped, then. You shall be reincarnated with an item of your choice."

"Sweet-" Kazuma began, but was cut off by the atmosphere changing suddenly. The room got darker, R'hllor's eyes were shrouded in darkness, and the mist on the floor glowed red and swirled around the Lady of Light's feet.

"Be warned, young one. Once you make your choice, it cannot be undone. Choose with caution, as you will not receive any second chances." R'hllor muttered threateningly. She had risen from her seat and swayed her way to Kazuma, staring him straight in the eyes.

"U-Um…" Kazuma managed to say, the fear within him preventing him from saying anything else. R'hllor picked up on this and moved back, the atmosphere returning to normal.

"Oh, I'm sorry for all that! I've just had a bit of a… bad day, I guess you could call it." The Lady of Light said, doing a quick bow before returning to her seat. "Family matters, I'm sure you understand. Anyways, what I said before still stands. Once you choose your item you can't take it back, so choose wisely."

"So, this 'thing' that I bring with me. That can be anything, right?" Kazuma asked.

"Oh yes, anything you could think of. Whether it's a blade that grants the user immeasurable strength, or a power that allows you to make whatever you think of. Anything at all. Oh, if you have trouble thinking of something, I could always give you a book of ideas…" R'hllor offered.

"No need, onee-san. I already know what I want." Kazuma stated. "I want a Dragonsteel Sword!"

"... a what?"

"A Dragonsteel Sword, like off of Game of Kings! It's a type of sword, made of steel forged with magic and dragon's fire, hence its name. The steel is strong and sharp, but also light at the same time. It can't be broken at all, but it can be melted down and made into something else." Kazuma said, matter-of-factly. This TV show, Game of Kings, is one of Kazuma's all-time favourites. It focuses on a bunch of noble families fighting for the throne, and almost each noble family makes a claim for the throne and declares themselves King. "Preferably, I'd like the sword to be a Longsword, the blade one metre in length and the hilt long enough for me to wield in one hand or two."

"...alright then. I won't lie, you're a lot more nerdier than I had expected. I mean sure, you are a medieval/fantasy-obsessed NEET whose had little to no experience talking to other people, but I didn't know it would be this bad…" R'hllor muttered, soft enough for it to be almost unheard but loud enough for Kazuma to pick up on it.

"Oi, I'm not that bad! Everyone likes the Medieval Era, it's the most interesting and innovative of all the eras!" Kazuma protested.

"Yeah yeah sure, whatever. Well, it's time for you to go now." R'hllor was a very impatient woman, as Kazuma was able to see for himself.

" **Brave Adventurer! I wish you luck on your quest to defeat the evil Demon King! I shall await your return upon the Demon King's death, where I shall grant you a single wish as reward for your bravery!"** R'hllor shouted as an orange star lit up the floor underneath Kazuma and lifted him into the air, towards a cloudy wormhole in the sky. " **Go forth into this wonderful world!"**

And just like that, Satou Kazuma was gone.

R'hllor let out a tired sigh and collapsed into the chair underneath her.

"Jeez, how does she do it?" She said to nobody in particular.

"Alrighty! Time to send some souls over!~" A loud and cheery voice called. R'hllor cursed under her breath. A door appeared from the mist, and from the door came a woman in a short blue skirt and top, with long blue hair tied up into a loop at the back and a pink raiment hanging off her neck.

"Wait a minute, R'hllor-san?! What are you doing here?!" The blue haired woman yelled.

"O-Oh, hi, Aqua nee-sama.."

Indeed. The seemingly intimidating, seductive and powerful R'hllor is sisters to a loud, lazy and annoying goddess like Aqua.

"Hey! This was meant to be _my_ soul-sending time! Why are you here instead of me?!" Aqua screeched, the open bag of chips that were in her hand falling to the floor unceremoniously. "And now you made me drop my chips! Are you only here to bring me bad luck?!"

"O-Of course not, nee-sama! Y-You were taking too long so I thought 'Maybe I should do it for her?' I-I'm sorry if I inconvenienced you.." R'hllor said in apology. Sometimes, she asked herself why she and Aqua were even siblings to begin with. Of course, they were both elemental goddesses, but their respective elements were the complete opposites of each other! In fact, everything about her and Aqua were opposite. Even their amount of followers (and arguably, the sanity of them).

"This was gonna get me more followers! Ugh, now I bet those followers will go to you now too… thats not fair!" Aqua cried, something that was a regular occurence. "You always get the followers! Just because those stupid humans need fire to be warm and live! Don't they realise that I, the Goddess of Water, provided the liquid that gave their planet life?! They should be more grateful to me!"

"..." R'hllor didn't dare say anything. She tried that one time, she received a pretty strong God Blow to the face that time.

"Uhhh fine! I guess I'll go wait for the next soul…" The blue-haired goddess then stormed off through the door she just entered in, leaving the chip bag discarded on the floor. R'hllor sighed. She's gonna be in it later on.

 _ **-line-**_

Meanwhile, the light in Kazuma's eyes slowly faded. He opened his eyes slowly and was greeted by the gates to a bustling medieval-type town full of people going about their business. He looked down at his body and was greeted by the same green tracksuit wearing man, except for two big changes.

Hanging from his left hip was a longsword, held in a leatherbound scabbard with dark grey steel forming a swirling pattern. The hilt of the blade was fairly long, big enough for Kazuma to hold both his hands on it, yet small enough for him to hold it in just one. Exactly like he had asked for. It even came with a small dark grey loop on the end, forming an unusual pommel. Kazuma drew the sword from its scabbard and he was delighted to see that the blade was also exactly how he had asked it to be. It was roughly one metre long and 7 centimetres wide. He ran his finger against the sharp end and felt it slice through his skin with ease, and it was very easy to hold. A perfect Dragonsteel sword.

The other change was a new weight holding down his left trouser pocket. He dug his hand in there and pulled out a small red pouch with a letter tied to it. The letter read: ' _I know you didn't ask for it, but here's some starting money. -R'hllor.'_ The note even had a small symbol on the side next to her name; a red heart encased in yellow flames.

' _Probably her religion's symbol.'_ Kazuma concluded. All prominent gods and goddesses had a symbol to represent them and their religion (or they at least did in TV shows).

"All right! Here goes my new life! Goodbye old, NEET life and hello new life as an adventurer!" Kazuma yelled, despite looking like a public menace. "So, there's got to be some kind of guild around here, right? An inn or a tavern or something like that, places where adventurers go to seek quests and get rich."

He looked around, and saw a large sign to the left that read: ' _Welcome to Axel, the town of beginners.'_

"Ah, so this must be Axel. Never heard of it." Kazuma muttered as he walked through the large stone gates. "Well, now that I'm here I might as well get some directions. Surely somebody knows where a guild is…"

' _Ah, that man there must know a thing or two. He looks like the adventurer type.'_ Kazuma thought as he walked up to an armour-clad man. "Hello sir, do you know where a guild is around here?"

"Hmm, that I do. You're new around here right? I don't think I've ever seen you around these parts before." The adventurer asked, placing his hand on his chin and looking Kazuma up and down. "You're definitely new. I'd know if there was an adventurer walking around wearing weird clothes like that."

"That's right. I came here to become an adventurer and protect our lands from the Demon King." Kazuma said, using his knowledge from RPG games to guide him through the 'tutorial phase.' What he had said wasn't necessarily a lie, he was here to defeat the Demon King and his army, but that wasn't his goal right now. Besides, fighting someone called the Demon King must be tough, that would be for more experiences adventurers, not some rookie. There's no way the Demon King and his army would be able to be defeated by novices.

"Ah, good on you lad! We always need more adventurers fighting on the front lines. Something about you tells me you'll do well in this profession." The adventurer commented. "Anyways, you'll be wanting the guild. Just follow this road to the centre of town and you'll find it. The Axel Branch Adventurer's Guild, the pride and joy of us Axel citizens. It also doubles as a tavern and inn, so you can eat and stay there too. Though, most new adventurers sleep in the stables, since it's cheaper than renting a room."

"Alright, thank you for the help. I'm sure I'd be lost for days if I went out on my own!" Kazuma said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"It's all good, always happy to help a fellow adventurer. Hopefully I'll see you in the guild sometime." The adventurer replied before going on his own.

"Huh. What a nice fellow." Kazuma commented as he headed further down the street.

 _ **-line-**_

An hour later, Kazuma found his way to the Axel Adventurer's Guild. The place looked almost exactly the same as an inn you would find in RPG games, except for a few differences. The guild building had a tower with speakers adorning the very top, most likely used for emergency announcements. The building also had a blue crest with an unidentifiable yellow symbol in the middle, most likely the symbol that represents whatever organization made all the adventurer guilds.

Kazuma entered the guild, passing all the stalls set up on the outside, and was greeted by a lively display. Right in front of him was a board with tons of paper notes pinned on it, probably quests. To his left was the inn part that the adventurer from before mentioned. There were tables spread out all over the place and a serving table where one could order food and drink. To his right were a bunch of men and women dressed up in dress shirts and ties. One particular girl caught his eye, she wore a shirt that only covered her torso, leaving her shoulders and upper chest visible. Her shirt collar was separate from the shirt, looking more like a choker than a collar. Lastly, she wore very short shorts that left almost her entire leg visible.

" _Oh, she's one I'll remember for a long time…'_ Kazuma thought, his perverted tendencies getting the better of him for a second. Since Kazuma was a NEET in his past life, he has very little knowledge on what is acceptable to say to people. If it weren't for anime portraying perversion as a commonly-done yet frowned upon thing, Kazuma would be acting perverted all the time and would have probably found himself in prison a few times. Though, even if he hadn't found that out, he wouldn't do it due to his terrible ability to talk to women. ' _Hopefully I won't have to talk to her too much, I'd be muttering all over the place…'_

Of course, it was just his luck when said receptionist lady looked up at him and began walking towards him.

"Oh, hello! Are you here to become an adventurer?" The lady asked. Kazuma couldn't help but notice how each step made her breasts jiggle almost unrealistically.

"U-Uhh, umm…" was all Kazuma could say. He was entranced.

"Um, sir?" The lady asked. "Oh, where are my manners? My name is Luna, I'm the head receptionist and the one responsible for giving quests and rewards! You'll be seeing me quite often if you plan to become an adventurer here!"

' _That's both a good and bad thing…'_ Kazuma thought.

"Anyway, are you here to become an adventurer? If you have the entrance fee I'll get your adventurer card sorted immediately!" Luna said cheerfully.

"The… entrance fee? H-How much is that..?" Kazuma managed to say.

"The entrance fee is 1000 eris, sir. This fee covers the price of the adventurer card and your official registration into the Belzerg Adventurer's Log!" Luna replied. Kazuma brought the red coin pouch out of his pocket and began sorting through the coins.

' _Hmm, this eris stuff is a lot like yen. I guess settling in here will be easier than I thought!'_ Kazuma thought as he pulled 1000 eris from the pouch and handed it to Luna. "H-here it is, 1000 eris."

"Impressive work. Most newbie adventurers don't have enough eris for the entrance fee when they first get here, so they have to do manual labour to earn it. I'm impressed by your initiative, sir." Luna commented. "Now come with me, sorting out your adventurer card is a quick process so you'll be able to go out and adventure as soon as we're done!"

' _I'm sorry, Luna-san. My 'initiative' was actually the gift from a goddess…'_

Luna brought Kazuma over to an empty reception desk which had a purple orb on it. The orb was surrounded by some form of brass-like metal rings that didn't actually connect with the orb itself. ' _Probably a magic item, so that's cool. Magic exists here…'_

"Alright sir, please place your hand over this orb and your adventurer card will be printed out!" Luna cheered.

"Luna-san, what does the adventurer card do?"

"Oh, that's simple! The adventurer card keeps track of your level and stats. It shows your level of **Strength** , **Vitality** , **Intelligence** and **Luck** , as well as all the skills you've learned." Luna replied. "The skills are easy enough to understand. **Strength** determines how much damage your attacks deal. **Vitality** determines how much health you have, and also your natural damage resistance. **Intelligence** determines your magical prowess and your ability to detect traps. Lastly, **Luck** determines the rarity of your loot and how much you get. This particular skill is more suited to merchants though, so not many adventurers spend their time levelling it up."

"I see, thank you." Kazuma said as he placed his hand over the orb. The orb glowed bright purple and a piece of paper slowly made its way out of a small slot on the bottom. The paper in question glowed green and wrote down all of Kazuma's stats in the language of this world.

' _Huh, I can read the language here too? I guess that was R'hllor's doing…'_ Kazuma thought. Once this process was done, Luna took the piece of paper and looked at it.

"Oh my. Satou Kazuma-kun, your stats are quite impressive." Luna commented.

"Wait, really?"

"Yes. Have a look!" Luna said as she turned the paper around and showed it to him. Kazuma's jaw dropped when he saw the results.

The paper read:  
" **Name: Satou Kazuma.  
Level: 1.  
Class: None.  
Health: 5000.  
Strength: A.  
Vitality: C.  
Intelligence: B.  
Luck: S.  
Skills:  
\- Sword Training."**

"These skills are very rare for newbie adventurers. Strength is very high, Vitality is normal, Intelligence is above average and Luck is the highest it can go! You even have a skill already learned, which is very, very rare for newbie adventurers like you." Luna commented. "With these skills, you could choose almost all the intermediate-level fighter, thief and some of the intermediate-level mage classes."

"W-What do each of the classes do, exactly?" Kazuma asked.

"The classes affect what skills you can learn. The lowest class, Adventurer, is the only class that can learn all skills for all classes, even the advanced ones. For fighter, thief and mage classes, their level affects what skills you can learn for that class too. For instance, advanced-class Arch Mages can learn all advanced spells, whereas beginner-class mages can only learn the basic spells." Luna explained. "For you, I would highly recommend choosing one of the fighter classes. The skill you already have, **Sword Training** , is a basic fighter skill which you'll be able to keep and upgrade if you chose a fighter class. I've never seen this happen before, so I don't know what'll happen if you choose a non-fighter class."

' _I see. So, I'm basically a prodigy here, right?'_ Kazuma asked himself. As he looked around, he saw that most of the adventurers and receptionists had gathered around him, all in awe at his exemplar skills. ' _Huh, I really am a prodigy!'_

Kazuma smiled. "In that case, I shall choose an intermediate-level fighter class."

"Very well. The classes available to you in this category are: **Ruffian** , **Sellsword** , **Knight** -" Luna began, but was cut off by an excited prodigy.

"I choose **Knight**!" Kazuma yelled.

Luna was at first shocked by being interrupted, but ended up smiling. "Very well. I hereby announce Satou Kazuma-kun as a **Knight**! May he fare well as an adventurer!"

The crowds around them cheered. Some clapped, and some chanted his name. "Kazuma! Kazuma!" They yelled. The man- no, knight, in question smiled.

' _This is the start of my wonderful life in this wonderful world!'_

While he was thinking, a set of crimson eyes shined within the crowd.

' _I've got to get this guy in my party!'_

 _ **A/N: Oh boy, what a start. And what a return to the writing world too. As you can see, I've chosen to do a Konosuba fic, and I think it turned out rather well. It's also kind of a Game of Thrones crossover, but I won't tag it as that because I'm a renegade. This fic also surpassed the word count I had aimed for. I tried for 3.5k but ended up with 4k, so that's cool. Anyways, I hoped you boys and not-boys enjoyed this.**_


	2. Chapter II: Party Time

The NEET in Shining Armour Chapter 2 - Party Time

The next day, Satou Kazuma, the newly anointed Knight, looked down at his Adventurer Card during the early hours of the morning. He was still in awe at how high his stats were, very unusual for a man who has spent most of his life inside and in front of a computer. From his understanding, the rankings for his Strength, Vitality, Intelligence and Luck were pretty good, all of them at average or above average. From what Luna had told him, those stats are ranked from F to S, F being the worst and S being the best. Knowing that none of his stats were below average brought a certain happiness to him.

Right now, the Guild was rather silent. A few adventurers were walking around, exiting their rooms in the inn or ordering their breakfast. The receptionists were up earlier than anyone else though, each one preparing their work stations and updating the quest board with new quests for adventurers to take. Kazuma didn't pay them too much attention, he had his own business to attend to.

'So, in games that are like this, the MC would go and collect other like-minded adventurers to join his party. I should probably do something like that, but how would I go about doing that? Put up a recruitment poster thing on the quests board? I think I saw something like that yesterday…' Kazuma thought, taking glances at his Adventurer Card, the quests board, and the adventurers around him. As he took said glances, he couldn't help but see two small red lights flash in his eyes a few times from a dark corner. Kazuma turned to face the red lights head-on.

'W-What is that..?' He asked himself as the red lights began to flash once again. Suddenly, the lights moved from the corner at an amazing speed and sped right towards Kazuma. The man in question shielded himself with his arm to protect himself from what he thought was an impending attack, but nothing came. After a few seconds, Kazuma lowered his hands and was surprised to see a young girl standing before him. This girl wore a black blouse with a conveniently-placed hole in the chest area, a pink mini skirt and a pink tie. Her hair was tied into twintails and hung off her shoulders, held in place by two red bows. However, her most recognisable features were her crimson eyes which shined in the early morning light.

"Um… hello?" Kazuma said slowly. He had no idea why this young girl who looked no younger than 15 had wordlessly approached him.

"Ah, um, hi…" The girl said. "Ah! What am I doing?" She suddenly turned away and put her face in her hands.

'Don't say that like I know the answer to that.' Kazuma deadpanned in his head. Before he could voice his concern, the girl turned around and struck a pose. She stood sideways and thrust her arms out, one towards the floor and one up towards the roof.

"My name is Yunyun! I am an arch wizard that hails from the village of the Crimson Demons, and I am the daughter of their chief!" The girl, Yunyun, said. "I have come to seek your skills that are akin to that of a prodigy, and to add you into my adventuring party!"

"Well, um, Yunyun? As it turns out, I was just looking for-" Kazuma began, but was cut off by another flash of red in the corner of his eyes and a loud scream.

"Huh?! Yunyun, what are you doing talking to the Newbie Prodigy?!" Another red-eyed girl, shorter and a lot less.. .well-developed as Yunyun made her way towards the two. This one wore a black cloak with a gold border, a large wizards hat with red stitching and buttons placed conveniently to look like a face, fingerless gloves and a weird shirt that was long enough to cover her thighs.

"M-Megumin-san? I w-was gonna get him to join my party!" Yunyun replied.

"You?! Surely not, this man would rather join someone who commands the strongest advanced magic spell in all of history!" 

'Perhaps these two have some history together…' Kazuma thought.

"There's no way he's join you! I've already done the introduction!"

"Oh yeah? Then watch this!" The new girl struck a pose similar to the one Yunyun made earlier. "My name is Megumin! I am the number one arch wizard in the Crimson Demon clan and the commander of Explosion magic, the strongest and most destructive magic in the known world!"

"Ah, as expected from Megumin-san…" Yunyun awed. "W-Wait, no! It doesn't matter how impressive your introduction is, this man will d-definitely pick me over you!"

"Is that so? It seemed like you weren't so sure yourself…" The other girl, Megumin, replied smugly.

"Oi. Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Kazuma said bluntly, finally intervening. "I don't quite understand what's going on, so please enlighten me."

Yunyun and Megumin both looked towards Kazuma with a determined look.

"I want you to join my party!"x2  
"A party, huh? Well, I was just thinking about making one of those, but I didn't know if something like that was allowed, but it seems it is." Kazuma mused. "Well then, can't I just take both of you?"

"I-I don't know if that will work, Megumin-san is my rival and working with her instead of against her is a very big change, but I'll go for it if I have to.."

"No way! Yunyun claims to be my rival but all she does is annoy me! I can't work alongside her!"

'Well, that backfired. Having them both would be very effective since they both claim to be Arch Wizards..' Kazuma thought, letting out a small sigh.

"Okay then, that puts a wrench into the gears. Since I don't know the skills that either of you possess, I suggest that we take an easy quest so I can gauge which one of you two is better. How does that sound?" Kazuma asked.

"Hmm, I like this idea. Gauging our skills through quests and choosing one of us based on our performance, this seems like the best way to sort this out." Megumin mused. "Okay, I'll go."

"Um, I a-also agree to it..." Yunyun muttered.

'I guess Yunyun's a little shy..'

"Alright, let's go then." Kazuma said, taking steps towards the quest board. "Also, those names you were using, they're just nicknames, right? They seem a bit weird as normal names."

"Hey! If you have a problem with our names, let's hear it!"x2

-line-

Current Quest: Kill 5 Giant Toads within 3 days.  
Reward: 25,000 eris (5,000 per toad) + potential party member

Kazuma, Yunyun and Megumin stood on a small hill in an open field, not too far away from Axel.

"Alright, this quest is simple. All we need to do is do is kill some toads. Luna-san said this would be a good quest to gauge your skills with." Kazuma said, looking out into the field. The quest outline did say that there won't always be 5 giant toads out at once, which is why the 3 day time limit was added. Right now, there were only two toads. "Since there are only two toads here, you both can target one and defeat it. I'll watch from the side and see what kind of skills you have, and intervene if something goes wrong. Okay?"

"Got it!"

"Uh, s-sure.."

Megumin and Yunyun advanced down the hill and stopped by the hill's foot. The toads were at least 50 metres away from them, close enough to be targeted with magic.

"Alright Megumin-san, I'll go for the one on the left." Yunyun decided as she advanced further. Megumin, however, stood in place and held out a simple-looking staff with a blue crystal hovering at the top. Orange rings appeared at the end of Megumin's staff and at her feet, the wind began to pick up and blew towards the crimson-eyed girl, allowing her cloak to flow dramatically.

Taking up an equally dramatic pose, Megumin began to chant. "Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson…"

Kazuma looked on in awe. Yunyun, however, didn't react as much as the knight did. She simply looked back at Megumin and ran back to her.

"...I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force; a destructive force without equal! Return all creation into cinders, and come from the abyss!"

The same orange rings that formed around Megumin's feet and staff formed underneath and above Megumin's target, the Giant Toad in the distance. The oversized toad looked up at the magical display with a blank expression.

"Explosion!"

The orange rings around the staff shrunk with alarming speed, and within that same second the ground by the toad was struck by a magical detonation. An explosive beam fell from the orange rings in the sky above the toad and came striking down. The dirt around the explosion site was picked up into the air, mixing with the ashes and creating a rather large cloud.

'That is some impressive firepower…' Kazuma awed. He watched on as the clouds cleared, showing no sign of the toad.

"Alright! I think that got him!" Kazuma cheered. His thoughts were short lived, however, as a loud crash was heard not too far away from them. Kazuma and Yunyun both turned in shock to see Megumin's toad landing mere feet away from them.

"Curses! The explosion didn't get it? It must've jumped last minute!" Yunyun concluded, getting ready to run. "We should get out of here! I'll attack them both with my spells as we run!"

"Right! Megumin, let's go-" Kazuma began, turning to where Megumin was once standing. Though, he didn't see Megumin standing there ready to run. He instead saw Megumin lying on the floor, her hat and staff laying just as dormant as she was.

"Oh, yes. It seems that Explosion takes too much of a toll on my mana, so it leaves me unable to move after I use it." Megumin informed, her voice muffled due to her mouth facing the dirt. "Can you please help me up? I fear that the toad will get me soon."

"God dammit Megumin, why didn't you tell us this before?! We could have avoided this all together!" Kazuma yelled. It was true, if Megumin had told Kazuma about her problem with using Explosion, he could have devised a plan to keep them out of a situation like this.

"I'm sorry Kazuma, but there's no point arguing. I can hear the toad getting ready to eat me, please hurry up and get me." Megumin pleaded? It was hard for Kazuma to tell.

The knight realised it was pointless and quite un-knightly to leave a girl defenceless on the ground, so he went to retrieve her. However, he was too late. The toad had already used its tongue to pick up Megumin and place her in its large mouth. He could see her legs dangling out like pasta.

"Megumin!" Yunyun cried, but her cries were also cut off by the sound of a toad right behind her. Moments later, she too was being turned into toad food.

"God dammit guys!"

Kazuma then dived in, sword drawn, ready to save them both.

Current Quest Progress: 2/5 Toads killed, 2 days remaining.

-line-

Later, Kazuma, Yunyun and Megumin were sitting in the guild with gloomy faces.

"Ugh, I can still feel the toad slime…" Yunyun moaned in disatisfaction.

"I never want to fight a giant toad again…" Megumin complained.

Kazuma simply sat there with a blank expression. "To be fair, you both brought this onto yourselves. Megumin, you could have told us about the price of Explosion or just used a different spell and Yunyun, you could have killed both toads and been accepted if you weren't worrying about Megumin."

"T-That's true…" Yunyun agreed.

"I can't use any other spells." Megumin said. "I have dedicated my life to Explosion. I would never spend my skill points on anything other than that."

"What?! Why not? Do you know how much of a hinderance that'll make you?!" Kazuma yelled.

"I don't care! I've loved Explosion ever since I was a kid! I shall never use another spell, I'll be known as the Master of Explosion and make it known as the most powerful and most useful spell ever!" Megumin retorted, yelling just as loud as Kazuma.

"Stop fighting please, you're making a scene.." Yunyun said softly, tugging on Megumin's sleeves.

"Agh fine, it's not like I can force you to learn new spells anyway." Kazuma sighed in defeat. "Okay then, I guess it's time to pick one of you for my party, right?"

"Yes!"

"Y-Yes.."

"I've decided that I'm going to go with Megumin." Kazuma concluded. "This is simply because I didn't actually see Yunyun's skills, and that I believe that she would worry too much about her party members and get herself into undue danger. I'm sorry Yunyun."

"No, it's okay. What you said is true, and I'll use that to improve myself!" Yunyun cheered.

"Good, I hope to see you again sometime." Kazuma said.

"Yes! I knew I'd win you over, Explosion is too beautiful to pass up!" Megumin cheered.

'It's probably too late to choose Yunyun, isn't it?'

-line-

The Next Day…

"Alright Megumin, we've still got to finish that toad quest." Kazuma informed, taking a bite out of the food he had ordered earlier.

"Do we really? I don't want to go through that again…" Megumin complained. "Can't you just go do it? You were able to take on the two toads that ate me and Yunyun pretty easily. Surely 3 more won't be much of a stretch."

"Well, the toads were distracted by you two. I don't know how I'll fare if they're all targeting me…" Kazuma mused. "Just come with me, alright? With your Explosion, you'll be able to take down two toads with ease while I take out another on my own."

"...ah, fine. I knew I'd be carrying this party sooner or later…"

"You can't move once you use your spell, I'm carrying you more often than not. Quite literally, too." Kazuma deadpanned. "Anyway, we should head out after this-"

"Aha! Still pestering this young girl, I see?" A feminine voice interrupted Kazuma's plans. The man turned his head to face the source of the voice, and was shocked to see a tall blond woman in white armour standing before him.

"...who are you?" Kazuma asked.

"I am Darkness! I'm a female Crusader who stands for the people! And you, Knight-san, are a lecherous pervert!"

"W-What?"

"Don't give me that! I saw you walking back into town yesterday with two young girls following behind, covered in a strange slime! Making them walk right through town like that, as if you were doing some e-exhibitionism play! T-That kind of perversion given to l-little girls is de-deplorable!" The armoured woman, Darkness, shouted. Her voice slowly began shaky, her breath heavy and her face red.

"Oi, don't get any wrong ideas about that! I was simply bringing my party members back from a kill quest involving giant toads. There's no 'exhibitionism play' going on between me and them." Kazuma interjected. "Besides, I'm not a lolicon!"

"What part about doing that kind of thing with me makes you a lolicon?!" Megumin angrily shouted from the side, but was ignored.

"She's a party member?! That's even worse! Forcing your young party member through such depraved situations then making her go on quests with the man who h-humiliated her? Th-That's truly deplorable! I cannot bear thinking that s-some girl is being h-h-humiliated and d-defiled… hah… and I could h-have done something about that..." Darkness continued, her breathing getting more and more heavy and her face reddening by the second. She hung her head in shame and attempted to regain composure.

'Jeez, and you were trying to call me a pervert? You seem more perverted than I do, Darkness…' Kazuma thought.

Darkness then lifted her head and showed Kazuma a stern, composed and determined face. "Knight-san, please let me join your p-party!"

"No." Was Kazuma's swift reply. 'I wouldn't want more crazy people in the party, anyway…'

"Gah, such a fast response!" Darkness… moaned? It was hard to tell, actually.

'That made her happy?'

"Y-You must let me join, Knight-san. I must protect this young girl from your lecherous eyes, no matter the cost. Even if I have to s-sacrifice myself, I will do it. That is th-the job of the Crusader.."

"First off, call me Kazuma, not Knight-san. Secondly, I don't even know what kind of skills you possess. Crusader sounds like a fighter class, we already have one of those in our party. How can I know that your skills will benefit us or not?"

"Well, Kazuma-san, you are correct in assuming that Crusader is a fighter class. It's an advanced-level fighter class, so the skills I can learn are significantly stronger than the ones you can learn. Besides that, I have a higher skill set compared to you, since you only started a few days ago. I might even be able to teach you a few skills later on too, if you'll let me." Darkness informed.

"Hmm, you have a point. Though, I still don't know how you fare in a fight, you know."

"Then let me prove myself to you! I heard you mention something about finish a quest today, let me come with you and help you finish it!" Darkness exclaimed. "With the help of a Crusader, you'll have this quest finished in no time!"

"I agree with her, Kazuma. 3 people would make the quest a lot easier." Megumin said, nodding her head in agreement.

"Looks like it's settled then. Darkness, you'll be coming with us." Kazuma concluded. He stood up and gripped the hilt of his sword.

"Right! I won't disappoint you!"

-line-

Later…  
Current Quest: Defeat 5 Giant Toads  
Quest Progress: 2/5 Toads Killed

Kazuma, Megumin and Darkness stood back at the hill where the quest began, looking out over the same open field. Kazuma stood in with his sword drawn and held in both his hands, Megumin held her staff over her shoulder and Darkness stood with the tip of her sword pointed into the dirt.

"Okay guys, all we've got to do is kill 3 more toads then we can call this a day and collect that sweet reward money.." Kazuma said, daydreaming about what he'd spend his money on. His first thoughts were buying some armour or a place to stay that was better than the inn or the stables.

"Since we've got three of us, wouldn't it be more logical for each of us to take on one? With my Explosion, Darkness's Crusader skills and Kazuma's… strong stats, we'll get through this in no time!" Megumin cheered.

"A-Ah, yes. My Crusader skills…" Darkness muttered sheepishly, though nobody heard her.

"That was my plan, Megumin. You can go for the one that's the furthest away and Darkness and I will take on the others. Understood?" Kazuma asked.

"Got it!"

"Ah, yes!"

Megumin rushed off to the left, towards the edge of a forest where a Giant Toad lied dormant. Kazuma and Darkness ran off in the other direction, towards a pair of toads which seemed more attentive and began hopping in their direction.

"Darkness! I'll take the one on the left!" Kazuma informed, holding his sword up high. "Let's see what you can do!"

"Oh, uh, o-of course!" The Crusader replied, trying her best to imitate Kazuma's high spirits. Soon enough, Darkness was within sword-striking distance of a Giant Toad.

'Come on Lalatina, just one strike and it's dead!' Darkness egged herself on in her head, though nothing happened. She lifted her sword up and tried her best to swing it forwards, but kept being distracted at the thought of being eaten by a toad. Images of Megumin and Yunyun popped up in her head, seeing them walk shamely through town while toad slime dripped from their clothes. The Crusader's face lit up red and her breathing became heavy once again.

Meanwhile, Kazuma had already cut his toad down. He looked down at his sword, now covered in blood.

'This is a pretty good sword… as expected from Dragonsteel! I knew it was good in the TV show, but I never knew it would be this good in real life!" Kazuma's nerd side popped through for a moment as he admired his blade.

"Darkness, I've killed mine! How are you going?" Kazuma asked, turning his head to where he last saw the Crusader. He didn't find her standing over the corpse of a toad with a triumphant look, like he had hoped. Oh, no. What he saw was completely different.

He saw Darkness in the mouth of a toad, with her legs dangling out of its mouth and her sword strewn on the floor as if she had dropped it.

"Darkness?!" He yelled, holding his sword up again and running into the fray. It didn't take him long to cut this toad down too. Moments later, he had dragged Darkness out of the mouth of the deceased toad and looked at her.

"Hah… hah…" Darkness was breathing very heavily now, writhing on the dirt with a face of pure ecstasy.

"Darkness, what happened to you? Please tell me you're panting out of pain." Kazuma asked.

"I… I couldn't resist it, Kazuma…" Darkness muttered. "I did my best… but it didn't work in the end. I'm… a bit of a masochist… every time I go into battle, I imagine myself being captured by bandits or eaten by monsters in situations like this… I couldn't help myself…"

'That explains her behaviour…' Kazuma thought. "Okay, well that's… something. Is there anything else you're not telling me?"

"Yes, there's… something else. I cannot… hit my mark with my sword…" Darkness muttered in response.

Kazuma felt his brow twitch. "W-Why did you become a Crusader then?!"

"To… protect the people, to use myself… as a human shield…" She replied, still trying and failing to regain composure.

'Hah, that makes sense.' Kazuma thought again. "...okay, we can discuss this later. Now, where's Megumin?"

Just as Kazuma asked this, both him and Darkness saw her in the mouth of the toad she was meant to defeat and no explosion marks to be seen.

"M-Megumin!" Kazuma yelled, grabbing his sword and running off to the rescue.

Current Quest Progress: 5/5 Toads killed.  
Quest Status: Complete!

-line-

The trio sat at a booth in the guild, with their shares of the quest reward sitting pretty in their pockets. However, they weren't celebrating. Kazuma was worn out from running to the rescue twice, and Darkness and Megumin were still experiencing their respective views on the toad slime, even after bathing.

"Darkness, you not being able to hit things is a serious issue. How are you gonna help out with attacking if you can't attack?" Kazuma asked.

"I'll be your shield! Despite how I look, I have quite formidable Vitality and Strength, so I'll be able to withstand any attacks an enemy throws at us! I-it would be my pleasure to do this!" Darkness yelled, a small blush appearing on her face. Kazuma knew by now that this was her sign that she was thinking perverted things.

"Ah, n-no, that's not necessary." Kazuma declined. "However, I'm still willing to take you along with us."

"W-What?" Darkness asked.

"W-What?!" Megumin yelled.

"That's right. You may be a masochistic pervert and you may be incapable of attacking, but you do possess skills that I could use myself. And, I'm also willing to try train you to be able to hit your targets, so that way you can help us out more." Kazuma offered.

"R-Really? Most parties I join kick me out for this, not try to find a work-around…"

"Well, we're not like most parties. Welcome aboard, Darkness." Kazuma said warmly, giving her a smile and extending his hand out to her for a handshake.

Darkness eagerly took his hand and shook it. "T-Thank you! I won't disappoint you!"

Behind Kazuma's smile, however, was a gloomy man. 'Now my party has a one-shot arch wizard and a no-shot crusader… this isn't how I imagined my fantasy life to be like…'

STATS:

MEGUMIN:  
Level: 10.  
Class: Arch Wizard.  
Health: 5000.  
Strength: B.  
Vitality: C.  
Intelligence: A.  
Luck: C.

DARKNESS:  
Level: 5.  
Class: Crusader.  
Health: 10,000.  
Strength: A.  
Vitality: S.  
Intelligence: B.  
Luck: C. 


	3. Chapter III: Religious Fervour

**THE NEET IN SHINING ARMOUR CHAPTER III: Religious Fervour**

The following day, Kazuma and his newly-formed party sat around a guild dining table. This time, they hadn't gathered to eat, but to discuss a very serious issue. One that would spell the future of their adventuring career within their party.

"We need a healer." Kazuma said, placing both hands on the table. "Without one, we would have no choice but to naturally heal our wounds, which would take one, two or all of us out of action for weeks or months. The price for bandages and healing herbs and such would also take a toll on our budget. We'd be bankrupt within days."

"You do have a point. Fortunately, fighting is a dangerous business and I'm willing to take as much damage as necessary if it means you two can keep fighting." Darkness added, a small blush forming on her face.

 _'We really need to get that masochism habit fixed..'_ Kazuma thought.

"You and Darkness are the only damage dealers in this party. If both you guys fall, who will protect me?!" Megumin asked, yelling as if it was the most important issue brought up.

"If you had actually learned other spells then it wouldn't be an issue." Kazuma deadpanned. "Can we not replace you for Yunyun?"

"Oi, if you have a problem with Explosion magic then let's hear it!"

"Seriously, getting distracted and arguing so easily. You two are very bad teammates.." Darkness said, shaking her head in disappointment. "Anyway, having a healer in our party would be very beneficial. Not only would this person provide a source of health on the battlefield, but we'd also have someone to apply buffs to us and repel undead with the Turn Undead skill."

"It's settled then, we're getting ourselves a healer." Kazuma decided.

"A healer, you say?" A voice called to them from the side. Kazuma and co. turned their heads and was greeted by a woman in a red robe. She wielded a deep red staff with a heart on the end, covered in fake yellow flames. "If you're looking for a healer then you have the right person, right here!"

"Is that so?" Megumin asked. "You don't look like any healer I've seen before…"

"I am, indeed, a healer! My name is Kivana, I'm a priestess at a local church here and also an adventurer with the priest class. I'm fairly new, but I already know the basic healing and turn undead skills, but none of the buffs. Despite this, will you accept me into your party?"

Kivana looked towards the group with pleading eyes. Perhaps she too was somebody who had been rejected by other parties, like Darkness and Megumin. Kazuma only knew this when the topic of parties came up during one of their idle conversations.

"I don't know, you seem a bit young to be an adventurer." Kazuma comments, despite being 16 himself. "Are you sure you'll be of any use to us? I mean yeah, we were looking for a healer so we could treat our wounds faster, but will you be up to the task?"

"Don't underestimate me just by looking at me, sir. I may seem young but I'm very experienced." Kivana brags, not adding any context as to what she might be experienced in. "Besides, you considered refusing me because of my age, yet you have her in your party?" Kivana then points to Megumin.

"Oi, I'm not that young!" Megumin protests.

"I guess we'll have to see, won't we? How about this, you come with us on our next quest and we'll see just how good your skills are." Kazuma suggests. "How does that sound, guys?"

"That's what you did for us, I don't have any problems with it." Darkness replies.

"Neither, I'm okay with it." Megumin replies.

"There we go then, Kivana. You're coming with us for a quest."

"Thank you, sir! I won't disappoint you, I swear!"

 _ **-line-**_

 _Chosen Quest: Subjugate Undead Horde!  
_ _Reward: 100,000 Eris!_

For this quest, Kazuma's party had to venture quite far away from Axel. Their party went through luscious farmlands and decrepit forests to reach their destination, which was the ruins of a town with a large cemetery.

"This is the place that the quest paper told us to go to. This used to be a really nice and peaceful village called Oakvale, according to Luna anyway. Apparently some Demon King general put a curse here ages ago, and now nothing but undead live here." Kazuma explained. The ruins of Oakvale were shrouded in a dense black fog, and the party could only see a few metres ahead off them. The eerie sounds of nature were all that they could hear, alongside the occasional sound of rocks colliding with each other.

"This'll be a piece of cake! Kazuma, just let me hit them with an explosion! We'll get a different quest for this Kivana person to test her skills with." Megumin begged.

"No, go use explosion somewhere else." Kazuma deadpanned. "This is her test. Now, Kivana, are you ready?"

"Oh, y-yes! Alright, first off I need to do this…" Kivana said. She walked up to Kazuma and took the blade of his sword into her hands.

' _W-What is this girl doing?! Is she trying to cut herself?'_ Kazuma thought, a small amount of worry bubbling up inside him.

Kivana wordlessly grasped the sword tightly and slid her hands from the base to the tip. Once her hands released the blade, the sword caught fire. A bright, orange flame licked the sword and lit up the surrounding area.

"W-Woah!" Kazuma yelled in surprise. He swung the sword back and forth, and was equally as shocked to see that the flames weren't put out. "This skill is amazing! What is it?"

"Hehe, that's a secret!" Kivana playfully giggled, poking her tongue out at him. "Alright Darkness, your turn!"

' _There's really no need, Kivana.'_ Both Kazuma and Megumin thought. Nevertheless, Kivana still applied the flame sword magic to Darkness, and she was having a good time swinging her sword and watching the flames flutter in the air. She also tried touching the flames while she thought nobody was looking.

"I'm afraid that's all I have in terms of buffs." Kivana admitted. "All I have left now are basic healing spells and Turn Undead.

"Speaking of undead, where are they? Didn't you say that only undead live here now?" Darkness asked.

"They might be further in, but it seems pretty scary in there. I don't want to go." Megumin commented, pointing in towards the fog.

"We don't have a choice guys. I don't wanna go either, but not only do we need to see how well Kivana fights, but we also need the money from this quest. You know, to eat and drink and sleep." Kazuma reminded. "Alright guys, we're going in."

"B-But…" Megumin began.

"No buts! If you wanna eat tonight then you have no choice but to go!" Kazuma yelled. "If you're fine with going hungry then stay here!"

Megumin was, at first, speechless. However, she soon gave in and followed Kazuma into the fog. Darkness and Kivana followed closely behind.

"Oi Megumin, can you use healing spells? I mean, they are magic spells, so surely an arch mage could learn Heal and Turn Undead, right?" Kazuma asked.

"Ah, no that isn't the case. Priests have a special class of magic called Holy Magic. Things like healing, buffs, and Turn Undead all fall under that category, along with their Sacred counterparts. Only Priests and Arch Priests can learn those spells." Megumin informed.

"What about the fire sword thing? Is that a priest-exclusive thing?" Kazuma asked.

"I don't know, I've never seen a spell like this ever before. I don't know too much about priests spells so it might be one I haven't heard of." Megumin concluded.

"I see that my Flame Sword ability has you entranced." Kivana observed. "It's a special type of magic, taught only by the people who raised me."

"And who raised you?" Kazuma asked.

"Oh, well that would be the church of-" Kivana began, but was interrupted by a loud shriek. The party turned their heads in front of them and were greeted by a large group of 20 undead soldiers. Their flesh was a pale green and rotting, and their armour had very visible signs of wear and rust.

"Here they are! Quick, Kivana! Use Turn Undead!" Kazuma yelled.

"Ha, I have a better plan!" Kivana replies mysteriously. She points her staff towards the oncoming horde and begins chanting under her breath.

"Oi! Hurry it up or we'll die!" Kazuma yelled, desperation becoming ever-present in his voice. Kivana just kept muttering her incantation, not paying any attention to her party or the enemies in front of her.

"Now!" Kivana yells as a flaming orange beam charges up within the heart on her staff and launches itself from the end of the staff and at the undead. The beam was large enough to envelop most of the horde, setting anything it touched ablaze. The surrounding fog was soon dissipated by the strength of the flames and the muddy dirt beneath their feet was soon coated with the ashes of the dead.

Kazuma was, naturally, very surprised. ' _Finally! After finding a useless one-shot mage and an overly masochistic crusader, I finally find a competent party member! Third time's the charm, as they always say!'_ Kazuma cheered in his head.

"Haha! How was that, Kazuma?" Kivana asked, turning her head towards their party leader. "There are still some alive, but you'll be able to finish them off, right?"

"Of course! You had your time to shine, but just watch me!" Kazuma boasted, pointing his thumb to himself with a cocky smile on his face. Kazuma then ran at the closest undead and swung his sword at it, the flames still licking the blade. The sword cut through the zombie's brittle armour and flesh with ease, leaving a small scorch mark on the now disembodied zombie's body.

"Ah, that really was amazing! What is your sword made of? The fire buff I applied to it would help most swords cut through a zombie of that level, but none of them would ever cut straight through with such ease!" Kivana asked cheerfully.

"My sword? It's made from Dragonsteel!" Kazuma replied, using his extensive knowledge of 'real' dragonsteel from Game of Kings to his advantage. "It's an ancient type of metal that nobody knows how to make anymore! It's magically enhanced steel, forged using ancient magic and dragon fire!" Kazuma yelled while cutting through the remnants of the undead horde.

"Ah, so cool! To wield such a rare weapon must be an honor!" Kivana exclaimed.

' _Just as I thought, I knew that description would work well!'_ Kazuma mentally cheered. Within minutes, the rest of the horde had been dealt with, without the help of Megumin or Darkness. The other two were just watching from the sidelines, surprised by the power of their comrades.

"Ah, mission accomplished!" Kazuma cheered. "Thank you for the help, Kivana. Your skills are amazing!"

Kivana blushed and laughed sheepishly. "A-Ahaha, they're nothing really."

"Don't sell yourself short! You're accepted for sure! Welcome aboard, Kivana."

"Ah, really? Thank you so much!" Kivana cheered. "Oh, we must celebrate. Come, let's hand in the quest and we'll go back to my home!"

' _What? She has a home?'_

 _Current Quest Progress: Undead subjugated.  
_ _Quest Status: Complete!_

 _ **-line-**_

Later on, Kazuma and his party had successfully handed in their quest and received their reward, and were now following Kivana to her 'home.' Kazuma found it weird that she of all people would have a home, especially with how she looked. She wore nothing but a robe and a pair of leather sandals, which are unusual clothes for someone to wear. One could argue that she earned a lot of money as a successful adventurer, but her adventurer card said that she had only been an official adventurer for a week.

"So, Kivana-san. Where exactly is your home?" Darkness asked. "We've been walking for quite a while now, we're quite far away from the Adventurer's Guild."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that everyone. My house is around the outskirts of town." Kivana said, looking back to flash the rest of the party an apologetic look. "We'll be there soon, don't worry."

' _I hope so…'_ Kazuma thought, turning his head to look at Megumin, who's legs had collapsed and who had forced Kazuma to carry her the rest of the way. ' _Carrying her this whole way isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I would call her a frail little girl if she wasn't capable of blowing me up at will…'_

Their walk took another 10 minutes. They walked through the entire residential area of Axel and towards a more neglected side of town, by the walls. Their walk ended in front of a fairly large church with a sign in the shape of a flaming heart hanging off a nearby signpost.

"Here we are! This is the Church for R'hllor in Axel, the place where all of the Lady of Light's faithful come to pray!" Kivana exclaimed.

' _Ah, well that explains her staff. So, she's a worshipper of R'hllor-sama?'_ Kazuma thought.

"Well, well? Come on in! I wanna introduce you to everyone!" Kivana exclaimed, pushing the large church doors open and running in. Nobody followed, though.

"..are we sure going in there is a good idea? Who knows what might be in there?" Kazuma points out. "Sure, if an innocent girl can live there unharmed then surely it's safe right? Wrong. It might be a clever trap."

"I don't think Kivana would trick us like that, she seems innocent enough." Darkness commented. "Whether it's a trap or not, I'm still going to go in. I'm prepared to withstand whatever a-awful fate awaits me.."

' _You can't repress your masochistic urges for a few minutes, can you?'_

"Darkness is right, for the most part. Kivana is way too innocent to stage a trap for us." Megumin commented. "Although, her last part about going in whether it's a trap or not doesn't sit well with me, because I'd rather stay out here if it truly is a trap."

"Well, Megumin and I are going in. Feel free to join us whenever you want, Kazuma." Darkness said calmly, looking back at the boy as she walked towards the church doors.

"W-Wait! Megumin! Darkness! What if you die?!" Kazuma yelled, but it was no use. They had already gone in before they had time to heed his warnings. "Dammit! Fine, I'm coming in too!" Kazuma walked briskly up towards the church doors and pushed them open.

Thankfully, Kazuma wasn't greeted by a mob of angry assassins with their weapons poised and ready to kill him. Instead, he was greeted by a typical church interior. Large stone columns, rows of pews next to a singular walkway, a small elevated pedestal and a shrine to their god, R'hllor. There were a small collection of women there too, each one tending to the shrine or cleaning the floors. However, the most noticeable feature was that there were no real windows in the church, and it was only lit up with braziers that are lined up by the walls and gave most of the room a golden-orange glow.

"Ah, hello. You must be Kazuma-san, the leader of the adventuring party that took our Kivana in." The voice of an older woman called to Kazuma. This older woman was standing by the elevated pedestal with her hands placed together. "Welcome to the Temple of R'hllor. I am Mildred, the Head Priestess."

"Uh.. h-hello.." Kazuma replied nervously.

"Mother Mildred! This is the Kazuma that I told you about!" Kivana cheered, running straight through the walkway and right up to Mildred. "He's a powerful swordsman with an amazing ancient sword! He told me that it was made out of a special steel that nobody knows how to make anymore!"

"Ah, is this so? Such a sword must have an amazing name, right?" Mildred asked.

"Well, I haven't thought of a name for it yet…"

"That's a shame. Well then, Kivana. Why don't you go get some food?" Mildred offered. Kivana nodded and ran off. "Kazuma-san. Thank you for taking Kivana in."

"It's no problem, her skills really are amazing. Do you know where she learned them from?" Kazuma asked.

"I do indeed. The skills you speak of, the Flaming Sword and Fire Beam that she showed you, they are all special powers granted to us by the Goddess of Fire. They aren't normal priest spells that can be learned by any adventurer." Mildred informed. "Kivana, like the rest of us here, are Red Priestesses. Most of us voluntarily joined, but Kivana was a special case. We found her at our front door when she was a child, we assumed she was an orphan."

"Don't priestesses usually stay in their towns to tend to the church? Why did you let Kivana become an adventurer?"

"Well, that's for two reasons. The first one is her lack of social experience. Kivana has spent her entire life within this church, and only knows myself, the other priestesses and the occasional worshipper who makes it here. R'hllor isn't a widely-worshipped goddess in Axel, I'm afraid." Mildred said. "The other reason is related to a special mission given to her by the Grand Priest of R'hllor here in Belzerg. She has been tasked with converting the Royal family, the Belzergs, to our faith. Once that happens, the Grand Priest believes that the rest of the country shall follow. I believe that the easiest way for Kivana to fulfill that quest is to become an adventurer and defeat the Demon King. That way, she'll be able to directly contact the king and convert him that way."

"..." Kazuma was surprised. ' _So she's being sent on some crazy religious mission?'_

"Oh, right. I trust that you won't be telling anyone about her mission. I told you this purely because I trust you. I hope my trust hasn't been wrongly placed in you." Mildred said, leaning in further to Kazuma. "Because if it is, you'll find out first-hand how Kivana's skills are lacking in power in comparison to my own, if you catch my drift."

' _So these crazy R'hllor worshippers also threaten people?! I hope I didn't make a bad decision in accepting Kivana…'_

"Ah, Kazuma!" Suddenly, Kivana's voice called to him from afar. "I wanna thank you again for accepting me!" Kivana ran up to Kazuma and embraced him tightly, causing the NEET to freak out. This kind of contact with a woman isn't something Kazuma is used to, nor is it something he would refuse.

"K-Kivana?! What are you doing?" Kazuma asked, his voice going shrill for a second. "You're hugging a bit tightly there, and I'm feeling a strange feeling right about now…"

' _Not that I'm complaining…'_

"Ah, I'm sorry Kazuma-san. This is what I meant by a lack of social experience. Kivana has no concept of what is okay and what isn't. I trust you won't let anyone take advantage of her." Mildred added.

' _Damn, and just when I thought I had scored a normal party member. But hey, at least we have a healer now, right?'_


	4. Chapter IV - A Skillful Approach

**A NEET IN SHINING ARMOUR IV: A SKILLFUL APPROACH**

Satou Kazuma woke up slowly, his eyes still feeling heavy. He was in his stall in the stables, the place where he has had to call home as of late. Despite having ample amounts of Eris thanks to the recent quests, Kazuma decided that it would be smarter to save them for new gear, repairs and food costs. That, and spending money on a room in the inn was really burning a hole in his pocket.

"Ah…" Kazuma yawned, stretching his arms out as far as he could. He stood up and brushed the hay off of his tracksuit, the one he brought with him and the one he was yet to replace. "I really need to get myself out of the stables…"

The boy looked out of the small window in his stall, where the sun was shining in. "Man, this isn't how I imagined life in another world would be like. I mean sure, I get to fight with a sword like a real knight, but income for us beginner adventurers is awful. So much so that sleeping in the stables is normal…"

' _Adventurers in this world are like job-hoppers back home. Just like us, job-hoppers can't earn enough to buy permanent housing.'_ Kazuma thought. ' _Even with a special weapon like my own, making enough money to cover all of our expenses is difficult…'_

"In games like these back in Japan, the best way to keep interest up is to make an objective for yourself. For me, there's only one objective I can think of…"

 _ **-time skip-**_

"Guys, there's something I need to make clear about my goal as an adventurer." Kazuma said, a serious look adorning his face. He had decided that the best thing to do would be to gather his party members in the guild.

"Of course Kazuma, what is it?" Darkness asked. The other two simply sat there, looking at the boy expectantly.

"My goal is to defeat the Demon King." Kazuma said, without any hesitation. "It's a very hefty goal, one that many others also share. But I believe that with our combined skills, taking the Demon King down will be a piece of cake."

"Killing the Demon King… that really is hefty…" Megumin muttered. "But, you don't need to worry. You have Megumin, the master of Explosion magic, on your side! The Demon King won't stand a chance against me!" Naturally, Megumin's reaction takes a 180 degree turn. She suddenly jumps up out of her seat and poses dramatically.

"I agree with Megumin-san. Defeating the Demon King is definitely a high goal, but I'm sure we'll be able to take it on if we all try. Between Megumin-san's explosion, Kivana-san's special powers and your swordsmanship, we'll cut through the Demon King's army with ease." Darkness commented. Kazuma found it strange that such a perverted and masochistic woman could be so calm and observant at times.

"Yes! I believe we can do it too!" Kivana yelled, pumping her fist into the air.

' _Ah, so she's an optimistic type?'_

"Honestly, I wasn't expecting you guys to agree so easily." Kazuma said.

"Of course we'd agree! We're your party members. Even if we've only been together for a few days, I still value you all as friends." Darkness said. "I'll follow you all the way to the Demon King's army, Kazuma. No matter what horrible fate might find me on the way, no matter what kind of… h-horrible monster may take me captive and u-use me, I'll still follow you."

"You couldn't help yourself, could you?" Kazuma muttered, a look of disappointment on his face. "Anyway, I just wanted to get that out of the way. If any of you don't feel the same and don't wanna follow my path, feel free to leave. For those who stay, I need your help. I need to get some more skills for myself, other than the Sword Training thing I already have."

Darkness's head perked up at the sound of the word 'skills.' "I could help you, Kazuma. Since you can only learn fighter skills, my skill set will be the only ones you can learn from."

"That is true, I can't learn any mage or priest skills thanks to my class restrictions." Kazuma commented. "What skills do you have?"

"I have quite a few that increase my own defense and attacking skills, but I have one that will surely help you the most." Darkness said. "Let's go outside, it will be easier to show you the skill that way."

 _ **-line-**_

Later, Darkness and Kazuma had gathered in an empty street near the Adventurer's Guild, with Megumin and Kivana watching from the sides.

"Now, the skill I'm going to show you is called **Power Strike**. It essentially lets you hit harder, so your strikes deal more damage." Darkness informed. "Once I show you the skill, it should appear on your Adventurer's Card as a skill you can learn. This also applies to any other skills you see in use."

Darkness then raised her sword. "Watch closely, Kazuma." She then raised her sword into a striking position. " **Power Strike!** "

Darkness's yell echoed down the street as she moved forward, her sword glowing orange as she swung it down. As the sword soared through the air, an orange trail was created that lead from the tip of her sword to where it was before her strike. Moments later, a nearby sign to the right of Darkness fell off of its stand.

"Oh, o-oops.." Darkness said sheepishly.

"Darkness, why do you even have skills for attacking if your strikes can't hit anything?" Kazuma asked. "Seems a bit redundant, doesn't it?"

"Well, I originally began compiling them in the hopes that they would help with my accuracy, but sadly that wasn't the case. So once I found that out, I stopped gathering those kinds of skills and began compiling skills that helped with my defence." Darkness explained.

"So you just… gave up?"

"I'll give up on teaching you if you keep going on about this!" The crusader growled. "Ah, anyway. Look at your adventurer card now, and select the Power Strike skill. It doesn't cost that many skill points, so you should be able to afford it."

Kazuma took out his adventurer card and sure enough, Power Strike was on the list of skills he could learn, sitting all on its own. "Ah, here it is. Do I just touch it?"

"Swipe your finger over the skill tab and the skill will be learned." Darkness explained.

The boy placed his finger over the Power Strike tab. ' _So, this is all it takes to learn skills? I thought you'd have to actually learn it by reading or something, not just watching someone else do it..'_ Kazuma thought as he swiped his finger over the skill's tab. The words 'Power Strike' changed colours from its usual graphite-black to a bright green. Kazuma's mind was suddenly hit with a strange feeling, as if his brain was expanding to fit the knowledge of Power Strike into his memory.

"Ah! This feels…" Kazuma began.

"Ah, yes, I forgot to mention that. Learning a skill leaves a very strange feeling in the back of your head, as if you've accomplished a really great thing and you're basking in the glory of it." Darkness commented, using a rather strange analogy. "Now, you should be able to use the skill just by chanting it before you swing. Which comes to my next point…"

' _Oh no, who knows what kind of perverted thing she'll ask of me?'_ Kazuma thought. While he didn't exactly hate the thought of doing that kind of thing with Darkness, he just didn't want to deal with the masochistic nature that came with the crusader regardless of their situation.

"Please spar with me!" Darkness cried. "It would be the best chance for you to test the skill outside of a fight and it would also help me with my accuracy problems. Not only that, but it would be payback for me teaching you that skill!"

"Me? To spar with you?" Kazuma asked. "Are you sure that's the best form of payback? I could just take you out to a dinner or something, you know."

"I am certain with my decision, a sparring session is what I want." Darkness replied, a stern look on her face. "Besides, you're gonna buy us all dinner anyway, so I won't need to go with you for a special dinner."

' _Ouch, even rejected by my party members...'_

"Uh, alright then. Let's go then." Kazuma decided, drawing his sword in the middle of the empty street.

"A-Are you sure here is the best place to spar? We could always go outside the walls-" Darkness began.

"This is where we'll spar. The gates are too far away and I'd like to be able to relax today instead of trekking all over Axel and the land around it." Kazuma replied. "I may be an adventurer but I'm also human, I need rest."

"Oh, I guess that's fair." Darkness mumbled, before regaining her serious composure and taking a defensive stance. "In that case, come at me!"

Kazuma raised his sword silently and rushed at Darkness. Much to Kazuma's surprise, Darkness was able to stop his initial sword strike with her own sword, something he thought she was incapable of doing. This continued for a short time; Kazuma swinging his sword at Darkness and Darkness blocking each of his strikes. Then, the tables turned and Darkness charged towards Kazuma. The boy kept backtracking while Darkness moved slowly forward, slashing her sword left and right as she took a step. Kazuma and the two onlookers, Kivana and Megumin, couldn't help but notice how each of Darkness's strikes caused a gash to appear either in the stone paved road underneath them or on the walls of the nearby buildings.

"Ah, you're good at this Kazuma!" Darkness yelled as their swords clashed for a moment, allowing them to talk face-to-face. "But you're no match for me!"

"We'll see about that, won't we?" Kazuma replied, flashing Darkness a confident grin before stepping back and preparing for another strike. "You're almost unstoppable when it comes to defence, but I have the upper hand for attacking!"

Kazuma put all of his strength into his next swing, and Darkness flinched and grit her teeth when their swords met again. She found that it was increasingly more difficult to hold his sword back using her own, as if her sword was struggling to take the hits.

Kazuma smiled, as if he was aware of Darkness's predicament. So he swung his sword again, at the same angle as before. And again, and again, and again. Kazuma kept up this flurry of attacks, continuously bringing his sword over his head and sending it back down with the exact same amount of force as all the other swings.

Kivana and Megumin, who were silently observing up until now, were in complete shock. They knew Kazuma was pretty powerful, and they also knew that Darkness was incredibly resilient. One would have to simply look at her Adventurer's Card to find that out. However, none of them expected Kazuma to overpower Darkness in such a manner.

' _K-Kazuma-kun is so strong…'_ Kivana thought, covering her mouth in awe.

' _Who would've expected Kazuma to be so skilled at sword fighting…'_ Megumin thought. ' _I knew he was strong, but I never thought he'd be this strong.'_

"Ugh! Y-You're better than I thought!" Darkness grunted, sweat beginning to roll down her face. "But d-don't misunderstand! I-I could do this all day!"

' _She's definitely struggling, as if it wasn't obvious enough.'_ Kazuma thought as he pulled his sword back for another strike.

Kazuma held his sword to his right and looked to Darkness with a fierce expression. "This was fun, Darkness, but now I'm finishing this!"

"Hah! I'd like to see you try-" Darkness began.

" **Power Strike!** "

Kazuma let out a loud and mighty scream. Just like when Darkness gave her demonstration, Kazuma's sword began to glow orange as it soared through the air. The crusader moved her sword to block the incoming blow, but it was futile. When Kazuma's sword made contact with Darkness's, his swing faltered for only a second before it cut right through the blade. What's worse is that the sword kept it's speed, travelling right into Darkness's chest armour.

Everyone gasped. The tip of Darkness's sword fell to the ground with an unceremonious clink, and both the sound from the falling sword blade and the collision between Kazuma's sword and Darkness's armour echoed down the street for a good few seconds.

"Oh… oh my god! Darkness, are you alright?" Kazuma asked, his eyes fixated on the point of impact. His sword was wedged in the small crack it made in her armour, refusing to move when Kazuma tugged at it.

"I… I-I'm... " Darkness managed to pant. Kazuma slowly moved his head up and looked at Darkness's face. Her cheeks were bright red and her breath was deep, yet hitched and irregular. "Mmmmmmh…" She moved her hands between her thighs and struck a very… lewd pose. Kazuma also noticed that, through his peripheral vision, Megumin had moved to cover Kivana's eyes.

"Um…" Kazuma couldn't describe what he just saw.

"K-Kazuma… thank you f-for this sparring session.." Darkness managed to say, despite her… condition. "I'm g-going to… go change…"

Nobody could put what they just heard into words. After removing Kazuma's sword from her side, Darkness slowly moved away from everyone else, her broken sword still in her hands. The rest of the party wordlessly walked the other way.

 _ **-line-**_

An hour or so later, Kazuma's party (minus Darkness) were at the Adventurer's Guild looking for quests. They had been going on quests at least once every two or three days so the party could have a consistent flow of Eris coming in, but this time was different. Usually they would have found a quest that would be relatively easy for their combined forces to defeat in no time, but…

"Why are there only super-difficult quests here?!" Kazuma yelled.

"Kazuma, Kazuma! Let's do this one!" Megumin's voice called to the young knight.

"There's no way we're doing that quest, Megumin. 'Subjugate the Rookie Killer?' It's called a Rookie Killer! I don't know if you noticed, but we're rookies! We are that things prime targets!" Kazuma yelled in refusal.

"Kazuma-kun! How about this one?" Kivana called. She was jumping up and down while pointing to a quest on the board, which was easily noticeable due to the insane amount of red skull stamps on it.

"Kivana, that quest is a bit out of our league." Kazuma grimaced, sighing to regain his composure. Turns out Kivana was pointing to a 'Subjugate the One-Hit Bear' quest. "I don't know which is worse; a Rookie Killer or a One-Hit Bear…"

"Ah, I see you've seen the available quests.." Kazuma turned around to see Luna giving his party an apologetic smile. "I'm afraid that one of the Demon King's generals moved in near the town, so all of the lower-level monsters have left. The only ones that are left are those along the lines of the Rookie Killer."

"Damn it! Well, there's nothing for it. Looks like we're off quest duty for a while." Kazuma muttered, with a hint of happiness in his voice.

' _Now that we don't have to do quests all the time, I could relax! It'll be just like old times!'_ Kazuma cheered mentally.

"Since we don't have any quests to do, please take me shopping, Kazuma." Megumin said suddenly.

"W-What?! Shopping?"

"Yes. I wanna buy some magic items that increase my mana, so I might be able to let off two explosions in one day!" Megumin smiled, imagining a day where she could achieve such a thing. "It's not like you have anything better to do, right?"

"Well, that is true, but…" Kazuma began. "Why do I have to go with you? Can't you take Kivana with you instead?"

"She's coming along too, and I'm not gonna let you sit indoors all day like some shut-in." Megumin replied, a strange bitterness in her voice. "You're an adventurer, so you can't become a NEET or whatever."

' _You can't become what you already are…'_ Kazuma thought. Despite promising to ditch his old life as a NEET and begin a new one as an adventurer, the boy couldn't shake off his old habits.

"Ah, fine. Let's go then." Kazuma said, making a move to the door.

"Well, there's only one more thing we need to sort out first.." Megumin interjected. "None of us know where there are shops that sell magic items…"

Kazuma's eyebrow twitched. "Wouldn't you know something like that _before_ you go to buy magic items? Besides, I'm pretty sure Kivana's lived here all her life. Won't she know where those kinds of shops are?"

"I'm sorry, Kazuma-kun, but I don't." Kivana added, a tinge of sadness in her voice. "I've lived in the church my whole life, remember? I don't know very much about the rest of Axel."

"And I don't know all too much about this town either. I was raised in the Crimson Demon Village, all the way near the front lines of the Demon King's army." Megumin explained. "I've only been here for a week or two."

"Jeez, alright then." Kazuma turned his head and yelled; "Hey Luna-san! Do you know where any magic item shops are!"

"Yes, I know of one! Not many people go there, but I don't know why. Maybe you guys'll find what you're looking for." Luna replied, hastily moving back to where Kazuma was. "It's just down the road to the right of here, it's called 'Wiz's Magic Item Shop.'"

"Thank you, Luna-san. We're off now!" Kazuma announced, smiling and waving to the staff member, not even paying attention to her response.

 _ **-line-**_

Shortly after, Kazuma and co. were able to find the store that Luna told them about. 'Wiz's Magic Item Shop', it was called. The store itself was rather small, at least 5 metres wide. The front of the store mainly consisted of the stained glass window and door, as well as the hanging sign which displayed the shop's name.

"So, this is it? It really has that fantasy feel.." Kazuma muttered.

"...fantasy feel?" Megumin asked, but nobody paid much attention to it. "Ah, no matter. Let's go in!"

Megumin was the first to enter, eagerly pushing the door open and walking in confidently. Kivana followed closely after, just managing to squeeze through as the door shut on its own. Kazuma was last to enter, hesitantly opening the door and walking through without the confidence that Megumin wielded.

"Ah, welcome! Please, feel free to browse my wares!" A soft, feminine voice called from the shop's counter. Kazuma's eyes quickly darted to the source of the noise, then began to wander. The owner of the shop was seemingly very young, with pale white skin, brown eyes and brown hair which covered her right eye. She flashed the trio a warm smile, which caught their attention. However, Kazuma was more caught by what was below the face. The shop's owner wore a purple dress with a darker purple robe over the top, and was kept together by a conveniently placed strap which sat underneath her rather large breasts.

"Hello, shop owner-san. Do you have anything that can increase my mana?" Megumin asked, heading right for business matters.

"I do indeed. Oh! And my name is Wiz, I'm happy to meet you!" The shop owner, Wiz, replied. She gave Megumin a large smile and called her over to one of the isles.

"This item should do the trick. This bracelet will increase your mana pool tenfold!" Wiz exclaimed, handing it over to Megumin. Kazuma, who had taken interest in the item, moved closer to Megumin to inspect the bracelet.

"Hmm, this does increase your mana by a lot…" Kazuma said softly, but gasped when he kept reading. "..but it also increases the spell's mana cost by the same amount!"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry! I didn't even notice that when I bought it!" Wiz said apologetically, rushing to put the item back on the shelf she found it on and left to find another suitable item. "Honestly, I never expected it to do that…"

"Oh, here's one!" Kivana's cheerful voice echoed throughout the shop. Wiz quickly made it to where the priestess was pointing to.

"Yes, this one is a very good one! It negates mana cost entirely!" Wiz yelled, handing the item to Megumin. Just like last time, Kazuma went to inspect this one too.

"No mana cost… just think of all the Explosions that would let me do!" Megumin cheered.

"No, this one's a dud too! It makes spells drain your health instead of your mana!" Kazuma cried. "Wiz-san, why do you have such useless items on your shelves? This could kill someone! Especially Megumin, who can only use Explosion once before collapsing!"

Wiz placed the item back on the shelf, just like the last one, and looked away bashfully. "W-Well, my old friends used to say that I was really forgetful sometimes and didn't always look into things as much as I should. That's probably why my store is unsuccessful."

"Your store is unsuccessful? Surely you have a few good things in here, not everything can have a crazy bad effect, right?" Kazuma said, trying his best to sound reasonable.

"I'm afraid it is. Now that I look back, a lot of the items I have bought to sell here all have an unreasonable side effect to them. I haven't been able to make enough money to cover the costs of buying more items to sell, so I've been stuck with these.." Wiz explained, her cheery smile now gone. "B-But don't worry! I'm sure I'll bounce back! I always do."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry Wiz-san." Kazuma replied, looking down at his feet before a great idea came to him. "Hey, what if you joined us on quests? You'd have to become an official adventurer though and learn some fighting skills, but I'm willing to give you a share of the profits."

"T-That's very thoughtful of you, um.." Wiz began.

"Oh, I'm Satou Kazuma."

"Yes, that's very thoughtful of you, Kazuma-san. I'm already an adventurer and I'd love to join you all, but I have a shop to run so I won't be able to join you very often, if at all." Wiz replied somberly.

"Wait, you're an adventurer? Do you have any skills I could learn?" Kazuma asked.

"Uh, Kazuma? I don't know if you can learn any skills from Wiz. She seems like a mage, and you can't learn mage skills, remember?" Megumin said, pulling on Kazuma's sleeve to get his attention.

"That's right, Kazuma-kun. You'd have more luck with learning more skills from Darkness-san." Kivana piped up.

"Oh, that's no problem. I have a few skills I could teach you." Wiz replied, her smile returning to her face. "Come outside for a second, we're gonna need more space to demonstrate some of these."

Wiz walked out of the store, unconsciously taking Kazuma's hand and softly dragging him out with her. Naturally, Megumin and Kivana followed after them. Kazuma and Wiz then stood out on the open street facing each other while the other two watched from the side.

"Okay, Kazuma-san. The first skill I'll show you is called **Drain Touch**. It can drain someone's mana and vitality and add it to your own, as well as being able to transfer your own mana and vitality and adding it to someone else." Wiz explained. "To demonstrate this, I'm going to need to take your hand. Can I do that?"

"Uh… s-sure.." Kazuma replied, sticking his hand out in front of him. Wiz then approached him and gingerly took his hand in hers.

"Prepare yourself." Wiz warned, just before a sharp feeling spread throughout his body. This sharp feeling, originating from the spot that Wiz is holding, slowly made Kazuma feel more and more tired. This feeling was only felt for a few seconds, until Wiz moved her hands away.

"Uhh… w-what was that?" Kazuma asked in a daze, struggling to keep himself standing.

"That was **Drain Touch** , Kazuma-san." Wiz replied. "Go on, check your Adventurer Card. It should show up."

Kazuma then pulled out his card. Megumin and Kivana both walked up to Kazuma and they, too, were surprised to see Drain Touch on the list of learnable skills.

"W-What? Isn't this Drain Touch thing a magic spell? Why can Kazuma, a man with a fighter class, learn it?" Megumin asked, half yelling.

"Well, it's simple. I'm a Lich, a powerful type of undead. The Lich skills don't follow the same rules that conventional skills use, and so it can be learned by anyone if they're taught it." Wiz explained. "Now, please know that I'm not a bad Lich. I became this way after I sacrificed myself to save some old friends of mine, I have no intention of hurting anyone."

"W-Why did you have to make that clear..?" Kazuma asked hesitantly. It seemed a bit suspicious to him.

"That's because most people who find that out are shocked and try to kill me because they think I'm dangerous. I just wanna run the shop.." Wiz replied. "Anyway, there's one more skill I want to teach to you. But, I'm going to need to use your sword, if you don't mind."

Kazuma wordlessly drew his sword and handed it to Wiz, who took it from him and held it without any issues. "The next skill is called **Ice Touch** , which you use on a weapon like this sword, like so."

" **Ice Touch!** " Wiz yelled. A layer of ice formed around the sword, which gave off a cool steam. "Now, anything that touches the sword gets frozen and easier to break." Wiz then handed the sword back to Kazuma. "The spell only lasts if you're holding onto the hilt of the sword, otherwise it'll melt."

Sure enough, the ice that was around Kazuma's sword had melted and dripped onto the stone road in the form of water. "Wow, thank you Wiz-san!"

"It's no problem, I was glad to help!" Wiz clasped her hands together and sent Kazuma another warm and innocent smile.

' _T-Too cute…'_ Kazuma thought as he took his sword back.

"Well, I'm sorry that I couldn't get you guys what you were looking for.." Wiz said, turning herself to face Megumin and Kivana.

"It's alright Wiz-san. I'm glad you were able to help us in some way." Kivana replied, flashing the lich an innocent smile that could rival hers.

"Well, I guess we're off now. I'll be sure to let you know if we have a free space for you to join us, Wiz-san!" Kazuma yelled, giving Wiz a small wave before walking back to the guild.

"I'll be looking forward to it!" Wiz yelled back, watching as Kazuma's party left. "Hmm, he was rather… cute. I can't wait to see him again.."

 **A/N: I forgot to do Kivana's stats last chapter, so I'll do them here. Also, I want to add a ship into this story but I can't think of one, so far I'm leaning towards Kazuma x Wiz. Let me know what you guys want and I'll (try to) do it.**

 **Name: Kivana.  
Level: 1.  
Class: Priest.  
Health: 2500.  
Strength: B.  
Vitality: B.  
Intelligence: C.  
Luck: C.  
Skills:  
\- Turn Undead.**

 **Name: Wiz.  
Level: 20.  
Class: Lich.  
Health: 4000.  
** **Strength: C.  
Vitality: A.  
Intelligence: A.  
Luck: C.  
Skills:  
\- Drain Touch**

 **\- Ice Touch  
** **\- Explosion**


	5. Chapter V - The First Encounter

**A NEET IN SHINING ARMOUR CHAPTER V: THE FIRST ENCOUNTER**

"5,000,000 Eris?!"

Kazuma's party was in shock. After the completion of a certain emergency quest, each member found themselves with a large amount of wealth under their belts. Of course, Kazuma had the most.

"Yup, turns out that the cabbage that I eliminated were rarer and were worth more money than the rest." Kazuma explained, his arms leaning down on an empty guild table and his face completely blank. His other party members were surrounding him, each one filled with shock.

"Ah, Kazuma-kun! You should share some of that with us!" Kivana proposed. "I'll be good and won't spend it all, I swear!"

"As much as I'd like to believe that Kivana, I'm going to decline. After all, you guys all have a lot of money, don't you?" Kazuma asked.

"Yeah, but nowhere near as much as you!" Megumin replied, a tinge of jealousy in her voice. She was right, the other members of Kazuma's party each had a lot of money after the quests. "And you know exactly why we don't have as much money as you! You remember the day of the quest…"

 _ **-flashback-**_

" _ **All adventurers! Please assemble at the front gate!"**_ _An announcement echoed throughout the town of Axel._ " _ **I repeat, all adventurers! Please assemble at the front gate!"**_

" _Hmm? I wonder what's going on?" Kazuma asked out loud. All the other adventurers around him had began to leave._

 __" _That's an emergency announcement, they always go off when an emergency quest pops up out of nowhere or if something is threatening the town." One of the adventurers, who was just walking past as Kazuma asked his question, explained. "The quests usually offer large rewards to all those who take part, so it's a great opportunity for beginner adventurers like us to earn some easy Eris."_

" _Easy Eris? That's perfect for us! Since there aren't any easy quests to take part in normally thanks to that Demon King general moving in nearby, this may be the easiest chance for us to earn some money for a long time!" Kazuma was ecstatic. He missed being able to spend money, which is something that a lack of quests made him forget. He was quick to gather his party and drag them to the front gate, whether they liked it or not._

 _Literally every adventurer in Axel had gathered in front of the gate, forming a rather formidable host full of semi-experienced fighters and mages. Kazuma's party made it to the front of the pack, one of them very eager to get started and the rest looking rather nervous, much like the rest of the adventurers._

" _ **Attention all adventurers! A large flock of cabbages are approaching at fast speeds! The annual cabbage harvesting season has begun!"**_ _Luna exclaimed through the speaker system, something that seems a bit odd for a fantasy world to have._

" _W-Wait, cabbages? Aren't they a vegetable that grows in the ground and not something that flies?" Kazuma asked, simply shocked at the news of flying vegetables._

" _Don't you know? Cabbages take flight once they reach optimum taste and maturity. They fly right through towns like this and torment the inhabitants, so it's up to us adventurers to stop them." Darkness explained, readying her sword. "It's times like this when I'm able to show everyone my skills as a female knight!"_

" _I think it's best if you keep your 'skills' to yourself." Kazuma deadpanned._

 __" _Could I ever resist the urge to let off explosion magic on such a large number of opponents? No, I couldn't!" Megumin shouted, stroking her staff and looking towards the approaching green mass with glowing red eyes._

" _Yes, you could and you should!" Kazuma yelled._

" _Don't worry Kazuma-kun! R'hllor-sama's light shall guide us through this battle!" Kivana boldly exclaimed, standing next to Megumin and pointing her staff towards the cabbages._

" _For some reason, I have more faith in this child than I do everyone else."_

Before long, the cabbages were within striking range. Each adventurer drew their weapons and let out a furious battle cry and charged towards the vegetables. Arrows and magic bolts were flying left and right, and cabbages were falling like flies. Although, many adventurers were hit by the fast-flying food and were knocked unconscious, some with very severe wounds. Darkness voluntarily used herself as a meat shield to guard those who were knocked down, so they could be healed or so they could retreat. Despite all her armour breaking and falling off, her clothes tearing and her arousal only growing with each collision, she stood her ground and many other adventurers held her in high regard from that moment on, calling her things like a model knight and the thing that all adventurers should hope to become.

Megumin was, surprisingly, one of the last people to fall during the quest. Those nearest to her said she spent the whole thing talking up her explosion magic and how it'll save everyone, before she got hit by a cabbage and remembered that she actually had to use the magic in order to save people with it. Despite being able to use her explosion magic only once, she was able to take out a large number of the cabbages.

Kivana was probably the most successful out of the three girls in Kazuma's party. Unlike Megumin, she can use her magic more than once and unlike Darkness, she doesn't get off from being attacked, so she had nothing stopping her from focusing on the fight. Her lack of real priest skills was made up for by the sheer power of her spells granted to her thanks to her devotion to R'hllor. Despite this, she was still taken down.

Naturally, Kazuma was the most successful one in his party when it came to the quest. His dragonsteel sword was much lighter and sharper than any of the other swords that the other adventurers had, so it was easier for him to take down cabbages. He did take a few hits, but was mostly unscathed by the end of the fight.

After the fight had finished and the cabbages had been collected, Kazuma found each of his party members lying on the ground, each of them suffering from their own very unique injuries. One of them was actually injured, one didn't have enough vitality to move, and the other was writhing on the ground in a strange masochistic pleasure.

' _I need new party members…' Kazuma thought as he seriously considered walking away._

 _ **-flashback end-**_

"...and that's why we don't have as much money as you!" Megumin concluded. "If you didn't have your crazy luck, there would be no way you'd have that much money!"

"How much did you guys even earn?" Kazuma asked out of curiosity.

"1,500,000 Eris." Megumin replied.

"2,000,000 Eris!" Kivana cheered.

"Nothing…" Darkness muttered.

"See? You all have more than enough money!" Kazuma cheered. "Darkness, I'll give you some of mine since you don't have any, but the rest of you are very well off. Go buy yourselves some new gear or something. With our combined quest rewards, we'll have enough to live soundly until that Demon King general leaves."

"Alright! I'm gonna go do that right now!" Kivana replied cheerfully, running off with a skip in her step.

"Ugh, that girl is way too reckless…" Kazuma muttered. Darkness looked at the boy expectantly with her hands out in front of her, which Kazuma responded to by silently placing a small yet heavy bag of coins into her hands.

"Kazuma, Kazuma." Megumin piped up. "After I buy myself a new staff, accompany me for some training."

"Hmm? Training? Why don't you go yourself?" Kazuma asked.

"Because I can't get back to town if I collapse after each explosion. Besides, you could test your own skills on any monsters we find on the way there and back." Megumin suggested. "Besides, it's not like you're gonna do anything while we're gone. I bet that, if I hadn't asked you to come with me, you would just sit in here and waste all your quest money on food."

' _Damn, how did she know?'_ Kazuma thought. "Alright then, fine. Since you have nobody else to help you, I guess I'll take pity and help out."

"Thank you Kazu- wait, what do you mean by 'take pity'? I could have asked anyone in our party to help me out, but I chose you! I'm sure Darkness or Kivana would love to help!"

"Mhm, let's get going already. We've got to buy our new stuff still."

 _ **-line-**_

"This should be a good enough place." Megumin concluded, using her brand-new staff to point at an abandoned castle in the distance, on a nearby hill. The new gear shopping didn't take long, even with the orders of two people. Megumin didn't want (or didn't think to get) a new outfit, and instead chose to buy the staff alone. Kazuma, however…

"An abandoned castle? That's a good pick. Nobody is gonna complain if we rough this place up a bit, right? It's already falling to bits!" Kazuma examined. Unlike Megumin, he opted to completely change his outfit. He bought a gold-trimmed green mantle, simple pants and leather boots, and a white shirt with a metal breastplate over the top and metal bracers on his wrists. He hung his longsword off of his new leather belt, adorned with brass knobs to make it look cooler.

"Wow, Kazuma. I know I've already said this, but you look way more like a real adventurer now! That old suit really didn't make you look like much." Megumin commented, her final statement hurting Kazuma more than it should have.

"Oi! That's my homeland's clothes you're insulting!" Kazuma yelled. "Anyway, hit that thing with an explosion!"

"With pleasure!" Megumin replied, raising her voice and striking a overly dramatic pose. As she pointed her staff into the air, orange magical rings appeared around her, the tip of the staff and above the castle. The air began to get cold and Kazuma could feel the magic power radiating off of the Crimson Demon in front of him.

" **Oh, blackness shrouded in light! Frenzied blaze clad in night! In the name of the crimson demons, let the collapse of thine origin manifest. Summon before me the root of thy power hidden within the lands of the kingdom of demise!"** Megumin chanted. " **EXPLOSION!"**

Just like last time, an explosive beam was fired from the tip of the staff, which travelled up over the castle and went down with insane speed. The air and clouds around them were pushed back as the explosion enveloped most of the castle, the impact sound still echoing throughout the countryside. Just as the explosion reached its maximum height, Megumin fell to the ground.

"Burn to ashes within the crimson…" Megumin muttered, her head still facing the explosion. "Hah! This is fantastic…"

"Ah, I guess this is where I come in." Kazuma muttered, walking up to Megumin and placing his hand on her neck.

"O-Oi, Kazuma! What do you think you're doing?!" Megumin shouted. "Are you some kind of pervert?!"

"What, no! I'm going to use Drain Touch on you so I can give you some of my vitality! That way, you'll be able to walk yourself back to town!" Kazuma replied, half angry and half embarrassed. "What made you think I was a pervert, anyway?"

"Don't give me that! I've seen the way you look at all the girls in the guild! The receptionist Luna, the waitresses, the adventurers, even Darkness! Staring at all of them with your perverted, lecherous eyes!" Megumin accused, her face buried in the dirt. "You can't be safe with a guy like you around!"

"Oi! Even if that's true, do you really think I'd do that kind of thing to you? I'm not a lolicon!" Kazuma cried.

"...for the sake of my vitality and your life, I'll let you off this one time for implying that I'm a loli. I'm not, by the way. I'm fourteen, that counts as an adult in this country." Megumin muttered as Kazuma's vitality flowed from his hands and into her body.

"Then what do you call your…" Kazuma began.

"I call it 'not having any growth spurts'! Now shut up and give me my vitality so we can go back!" Megumin cried.

 _ **-line-**_

From that day forth, Kazuma and Megumin went to the exact same spot for their training every day. Megumin would always use her explosion, which was getting stronger with each fire, and Kazuma would use his set of skills to provide Megumin with the vitality she needed to walk and to kill any monsters that revealed themselves along the way. No matter the occasion…

" **EXPLOSION!"**

Even if it was raining…

" **-PLOSION!"**

 ****During the heat of the summer…

" **-OSION!"**

 ****Even at lunchtime!

" **-ION!"**

 ****...Megumin never deviated from her training plan. Many weeks passed since the emergency cabbage harvest quest, and her skill with Explosion had only increased. Now, her explosions would envelop the entire castle, reaching heights that it would have never reached before. Soon enough, she'd have enough destructive power to destroy the entirety of Axel, if she wished. However, the original problem of her using too much mana still remained.

Kazuma's skills had increased too, though not nearly at the rate that Megumin's had. Using Lich skills like Drain Touch felt more natural to him than they used to, and every swing of his sword felt easier and more powerful than the last.

After all the explosion training, Kazuma thought it would be a good idea to rate each explosion on their destructive force and the height that it reaches, just so it wouldn't be as boring for him (which is fair, walking someone somewhere and having to help them back up and drag them back doesn't seem like a very fun task, even if it is to help a friend).

"Hah! Kazuma, how was that one?" Megumin gasped, falling to the floor after letting of a very impressive explosion. The man in question was looking off towards the castle, where the remnants of the explosion could still be seen.

"Hmm.. that was impressive. The explosion had great height, and I can still feel the air being pushed away from the initial impact." Kazuma observed. "I'd give it an 80 out of 100."

"An 80?! That was at least a 90 explosion!" Megumin cried.

"My decision is final, now let's head back. I don't have enough vitality to give you today so I'm just going to have to carry you." Kazuma said, not even waiting for Megumin to respond as he picks her up and places her on his back. "You know, one of these days you're gonna have to find a new explosion target. That castle won't stay like that forever and some of the people in town are starting to complain…"

"Let them complain! Nothing can stop me from using Explosion! Besides, if a Crimson Demon doesn't use Explosion once a day, they die!" Megumin yelled fiercely, almost as if it were true.

"There's no way that can be true. Yunyun doesn't use explosion and she's perfectly fine!" Kazuma argued.

"Shut up, it's definitely true!" Megumin retorted. From that point on, the rest of the walk was spent in silence. That's how most of their walks are, though sometimes they do talk about things like any prevalent issues that revealed themselves throughout the day.

When the two got back, they were surprised to see all the adventurers gathered in front of the main gate. Though, the most surprising part was seeing a strange, headless knight sitting on top of a headless horse, looking towards the group of adventurers and shouting like crazy. Megumin jumped off of Kazuma's back and briskly walked ahead.

"...after day, after day! Wh-Who is the screw-loose imbecile who keeps firing explosion magic at my castle?!" The headless knight yelled, his voice growing more and more irritated as he spoke. "A-Ah, it must be you two! Yes, you two adventurers coming back to town!"

"Those adventurers… I think I've seen them before…" People within the crowd of adventurers were murmuring as Megumin and Kazuma arrived back to town. Darkness and Kivana ran to greet them, with Wiz not too far behind.

"Kazuma! Megumin! You two have been using your explosion magic on this Dullahan's castle, haven't you?" Darkness asked, her voice filled with worry. "That Dullahan, he's one of the Demon King's generals! He's called Verdia, and he's the one who moved in nearby and drove all the easy-level monsters away!"

"I thought you knew already, Kazuma-san!" Wiz fretted. "If he chooses to attack us out of anger, I don't know if we'll be able to stop him…"

"Don't worry Wiz, we'll think of something. Right, Megumin? You started this mess any-" Kazuma began. He looked back to pin the blame on the Crimson Demon girl, only to find that she wasn't behind him anymore. "Huh?"

"Ah, so you're the menace who's been using explosion magic on my castle, day after day!" Verdia cried. "Because of you, I haven't been able to relax at all! I refused to destroy you all since you're all small fries, don't make me regret that decision by relentlessly attacking me without my notice! Do you understand, wench?!"

Megumin stood silent, before striking yet another dramatic pose. "My name is Megumin! An Arch Wizard and commander of Explosion magic!"

"..what on earth is a 'Megumin'? Are you trying to make a fool of me?"

"N-No! I am a Crimson Demon, and the greatest wizard in this city!" Megumin yelled. "Using my explosion magic on your castle each day was a brilliant strategy of mine to lure you, a leader in the Demon King's army, out to me. You fell for it, and came here alone."

The adventurers around them gasped. Kazuma leaned in towards Darkness. "Hey, since when did this mistake become a strategy?" He whispered.

"Not to mention she proclaimed herself the greatest wizard in the city…" Darkness whispered back.

"Oohhh, this is so scary!" Kivana shrieked.

"Very well. You've outsmarted me this time, but I have no intention of fighting you." Verdia then turned his horse away from the crowd and looked back. "I'll be staying in that castle for a while longer, so please don't use explosion magic on it again. Understand?"

"Impossible. You see, we Crimson Demons need to use explosion once a day, or we die."

' _Oh no, not that again…'_ Kazuma mentally cursed.

"H-Hey! I've never heard of that before! Don't make up convenient lies like that!" Verdia rebutted. "Does that mean you don't intend to stop using explosion magic on my castle, no matter what?"

"Yes." Megumin declared.

"Fine. I may have given myself up to the forces of evil, but I'm still a knight. I have no intention of mowing down all you weaklings. Instead, how about I make you suffer a bit, Crimson Demon girl?" Verdia muttered. He raised his metal fist and enveloped it with a deep red magic.

Megumin took a step back. "It's too late to run now, girl. I sentence thee to die." Verdia announced. "You will die in one week." The Dullahan released the magic from the tip of his index finger, smirking as the beam almost hit Megumin. But, before it could hit…

"Ahhh!" Darkness had moved from the crowd and in front of Megumin, so she could take the hit from Verdia's spell. The magic he released took the form of a skull, which surrounded and flickered over Darkness's body.

Darkness screamed in pain until the magic disappeared, when she fell to the dirt. Megumin, Kazuma and Kivana all ran up to the incapacitated crusader.

"Darkness? Darkness!" Megumin cried.

"Are you alright?" Kazuma asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Darkness struggled to sit up again. "Agh… it doesn't seem to be very serious…"

"Hah! This may prove to be more effective than what I had originally planned, especially against a tight-knit group of adventurers like yourselves! Instead of suffering yourself, you all will suffer as your fellow adventurer wastes away as the week goes by, shaking in fear of death until it finally reaches her!" Verdia laughed and evil laugh. "And it's all your fault, Crimson Demon girl!"

"H-How terrible…" Darkness muttered. "This Dullahan has cast a death spell on me, and is making us obey his orders if we want it removed. That's how this is, isn't it?!"

"H-Huh?" Verdia gasped.

"Forcing me to go to his castle, no doubt to perform h-hardcore perverted acts on me for his own personal gain! Can't you tell? Those eyes, hidden under his helmet! Those are the eyes of a perverted degenerate! A lady knight, imprisoned in the castle of a Dullahan… oh, what should I do, Kazuma?!" Darkness cried, a large blush forming on her face.

' _Now is the worst time for this…'_

 __"I d-don't want to go, but I have no choice! I shall accompany him if I must, and I'll return once the curse is removed!" Darkness then stood up completely and ran towards the Dullahan.

"W-What a maniac…" Verdia muttered. "A-Anyway, stop using explosion magic on my castle! Crimson Demon girl! I give you a challenge. Make your way to my castle. If you can reach me, in the main hall, I'll release the curse on your crusader friend. But will you even make it that far? Haha!"

"H-Huh?" Kazuma's party watched as Verdia left, using his magic to teleport. They were all left in shock. Darkness now has a curse that will kill her in one week, and the only way for them to dispel it is to fight their way to the Dullahan.

 **CHAPTER V END**

 **** **A/N: Well, here's where my story deviates from Konosuba's canon the most. Without Aqua, Kazuma's party has no way of easily getting rid of Darkness's curse, so they're gonna have to fight their way through Verdia's castle. Writing that is gonna be tons of fun, I'm sure...**


	6. Not a Chapter - Author Note

So, it's been a while. I won't sugar-coat it, there hasn't been an update on this fic purely because I don't have the same drive to write for it as I did before. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to give up on it. If you still wanna read some top-tier GodAmongGods work, go over to Wattpad. I created a fic on that site earlier this year, and I've been updating it very frequently.

For those who don't wanna take that route, just hang tight. I'll try to get an update out for this fic very soon, I hope.


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